April 15, Income Tax Day, spurns two schools of thought in addressing the procedure for filing tax returns. The options depend on whether the day is met with anticipation or dread.
Throughout January, those anticipating a refund from Uncle Sam impatiently check their mailboxes for tax documents that can’t arrive fast enough.
Once those coveted stubs of paper are in hand, filers either make a quick dash to their accountants or download the least expensive software programs.
Every possible combination of figures gets plugged into the form’s designated spaces in a greedy attempt to ensure the highest possible refund. The return is completed and filed post haste.
The session concludes with a dinner of steak, lobster and champagne while visions of vacations or home improvements dance in filers’ heads.
Conversely, those who know, all too well, no refund is forthcoming hoard these documents, and thus their cash, right up until the midnight hour.
Family members of the designated filer wisely get out of the way, as hours of muttering, cussing, fuming and fits of tantrum pitching, facial twitching and hair yanking are on uncensored display.
Every possible combination of figures gets plugged into the form’s designated spaces in a futile attempt to ensure the lowest debt owed, and mildly devious manipulations are exercised to affect such a result.
After hours of pondering tax codes, the return is completed and a dinner of tuna casserole and water is humbly consumed. Any spare pocket change might cover a wig to conceal those self-inflicted bald patches.
Whether you’re a premeditating refund spender or a procrastinating payer, the day can be fraught with indulgent joy or stress induced hypertension.
As Income Tax Day approaches, the old motto advising to hope for the best and expect the worst seems a sensible preparatory choice.
So choose your favorite restaurant, but have plenty of canned tuna in stock.