It’s almost nine o’ clock on Thanksgiving night. Once again, it’s time to prepare for battle. Put on your suit of armor or at least a heavily padded jacket, hit the road and shift into Manhattan driving mode. The first battle in this war begins in the parking lots of every shopping mall that participates in Black Friday.
Retailers boast of having after-Thanksgiving sales that promise to surpass all previous sales in holiday shopping history. Their doors are being opened earlier with each passing year, to the dismay of their employees. A scant handful of merchandise is marked down to prices that are too good to be true.
As soon as the doors open, thousands of hysterical shoppers provide hilarious entertainment to those of us watching media coverage from the comfort of our living rooms. The abysmal comportment of adults surpasses that of the worst behaved child fighting over the last toy.
Are these after-Thanksgiving sales really worth the parking space fights? Are they worth the bruises from elbowing and shoving along store aisles? Some of us have wisely opted for a more leisurely pace in December. However, for many folks, Black Friday shopping is a tradition.
If you’re adventurous, thrive on frantic frenzies and are thrilled by the satisfaction of the conquest, prepare for battle. It’s nine o’clock, so suit up in protective gear and head out soon. But first, you might want to fortify your strength with a turkey sandwich and another slice of sweet potato pie.