We all experience a sense of confusion on Lost Sock Memorial Day, observed annually on May 9. Our growing collection of singles signals an inability to let go. We can’t go on walking around as if mismatches don’t matter. It’s a conundrum worth unraveling.
Figuring out where they run off to is pointless and fun. Slip your mind around alien sock abductions. Picture washing machine monsters that crave socks. Contemplate the joy a liberated single finds in a fuzzy dimension we’ll never know.
Figuring out what to do with those singles left behind is an exercise in creativity. Try these ideas on for size:
- Turn spares into koozies for hot cups of coffee or very cold beers.
- Thrill and confuse the dog with homemade sock monkeys.
- Ball up a pair of loners spiked with a touch of essential oil, and use them as fabric fresheners in the dryer.
Turn Lost Sock Memorial Day into a celebration of what you haven’t lost:
- You don’t wear luxury Peruvian vicunas that go for $1200 a pair.
- You don’t own the 1700-year-old Egyptian sandal socks on display at London’s Victoria and Albert Museum.
- Obviously, you’ve significantly cut your laundry-day losses, and that’s a great excuse to kick up your heels.
Lost socks rub us the wrong way because we hate the waste of sad socks left behind. They pull at our instinct to repurpose lonely singles.
It’s somehow fitting that we commemorate all those soft, departed souls. Let’s pause, look solemn, and then laugh out loud on this Lost Sock Memorial Day.
